Hello,
Thank you for your email. I’m out of the office and will be back at (Date of Return).
For immediate assistance please contact (backup support).
If this is an emergency and you are unable to contact my backup, please try emailing me again. I am also available by text, Skype, slack, or instagram. I have turned on notifications for @lorelei if you need to ping me directly.
I am still checking my email so chances are I will email you back within 1-2 business days. If I do not email you back within 1-2 business days I am probably okay and you shouldn’t panic.
If you are from the support team and are looking to reach me for reference on coverage items while I am out of office, please first review Lorelei’s Honeymoon Binder sections A-G for recommended escalation paths. If the answer you’re looking for isn’t there, you can find my personal wiki and meeting notes alphabetized by client, season, and reason, in the 6″ binder in the safe beneath my desk.
Should anyone get ill during my time out of office, please note the tea and emergen-c in my desk is available for your use. You may also borrow my heating pad, personal space heater, foam roller, emergency coffee pods, light sweater, winter jacket, or my spare headphones if needed.
If you have a question about a client that cannot be answered in Lorelei’s Honeymoon Binder or in my personal wiki, please find my carrier pigeon located in the rear of the main conference room. His name is Charles and he knows where to find me.
Please strap a note with the full scope of your question into the cylinder strapped to his foot and send him out any window facing north. If he does not return with a message in 3-4 business days it is possible he has died.
Please do not call me directly even in cases of emergency. I am on my honeymoon.
Best,
Lorelei
